iPod, reshuffled

An occasional feature where we see what's on my iPod

A-ha? Oh yeah!

"Take on Me," A-ha: When you're ranking the best Grammy-nominated Norwegian '80s pop trios, A-ha is definitely in the Top 30. "Take on Me" makes me feel old because a decade ago, I could hit the song's famous high note, even at (or especially at) the end of a night out in college.

Now, most times when I go for "In a day or twoooooo!", I sound like the Gingerbread Man from "Shrek" getting punched in the stomach.

But I'll keep trying, much to the neighbors' dogs' chagrin. Because if Morten Harket taught us anything, it's that it's no better to be safe than sorry.

"Push," Matchbox Twenty: When I was in middle school, there was a girl I liked named Kristen who had cut her hair fairly short. One night, we were at a friends' house and the music video for this song came on TV.

(Yes, kids, there was a time when people watched music videos on TV. It was the Stone Age, or at least the Stone Temple Pilots Age.)

Anyways, as "Push" was playing on TV, I mentioned to someone that Kristen had hair much like Matchbox Twenty lead singer Rob Thomas. Word got to Kristen and she was not amused. And that's how I learned a valuable lesson: If you tell a girl in middle school she has the hair of a twentysomething dude, you better hope the bottle lands on her when you spin it because that's the only way you're going to kiss her.

"I Can Love You Like That," All 4 One: While "I Swear" is the group's best-known song, I always liked "I Can Love You Like That" better. As I was driving with Belle one night when we first started dating, she requested some music. So, of course, I began singing, for some unknown reason choosing this song.

When Belle threatened to jump out of the moving car, I turned on my iPod. The first song? "I Can Love You Like That."

We both sang along to the song about two years later during the first dance at our wedding.

"Go All The Way," The Raspberries: The song my dad says he wanted this to be his first dance at his wedding. My mom rejected the idea but still married him.

"The Rubberband Man," The Spinners: I turned on the TV early one morning a few months ago and stumbled across an infomercial for "Soul of the '70s." It was one of those offers for a 23-disc, 17,000 song collection where they show snippets of live performances of many of the songs, interspersed with gems of dialogue such as:

Host: Platform shoes! Big hair! Crippling inflation! The '70s were a crazy time!

D-List'70s starlet with a face that's only 20 years old: Ha! Ha! You are so right! And speaking of crazy, here's Wild Cherry with "Play That Funky Music."

Naturally, I watched the entire infomercial. One of the video clips was for "The Rubberband Man" and it is amazing. True to their name, The Spinners do a lot of spinning in their shiny, blue suits. The lead singer moves at times as if there is a bee inside his ruffled shirt, and the backup singers don't dance so much as shuffle behind their microphone stands. The group also is backed by what appears to be a 64-piece band.

Then, just when you think the video can't get any better, it happens -- the backup singers bring out giant, elastic bands as props while they dance. That's right, THEY BECOME RUBBERBAND MEN! One guy even ropes an lady onto the stage to play with his rubber band, and that's not a euphemism.

I had to watch this video multiple times just to take in everything. Now I know why The Spinners warn you to prepare yourself.

"Hold My Hand," Hootie and the Blowfish: I thought of a great joke about this song involving a fantastic, late '90s pop culture reference. But it's totally slipped my mind. Perhaps I'll remember it IN A DAY OR TWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

iPod shuffle

An occasional feature where we see what's on my iPod

"My Stupid Mouth," John Mayer: A quick synopsis of every awkward date I had between the ages of 18 and 27. 

"Counting Blue Cars," Dishwalla and "Everything Falls Apart," Dog's Eye View: Both minor, '90s one-hit wonders with something else in common -- both songs mention meeting or wanting to meet God.

In "Counting Blue Cars," the singer reminds us of his biblical appointment repeatedly, almost taunting the listener. "Tell me all your thoughts on God," he croons, "because I'm on my way to see her."

I added that emphasis on "her" to point out the casual way the pronoun is dropped. As an impressionable youth, this blew my mind. God is a woman? Why was this never mentioned in all my years of Hebrew school?

In "Everything Falls Apart," by contrast, our protagonist meets God on a train. And, to be honest, our protagonist is kind of a dick:

I said, "Don't you have
Better things to do?"
He said, "If I do my job
What would you complain about?"

You tell him, God!

So who wins in this battle of the Almighty? I prefer our man in "Everything Falls Apart" because at least he does stuff; "Counting Blue Cars" guy, when not, well, counting blue cars, just broods and whines. On the other hand, "Counting Blue Cars" is much more fun to sing in the car.
 
"Hava Nagila Baltimore Breaks,"Joro-Boro: Because if you can only have one club-remixed version of Hava Nagila, this is the one you want.

"Bleeding Love," Leona Lewis: Belle and I heard the song on the radio recently. Then this conversation happened.

Belle: Whatever happened to her?
Me: I guess she bled out.
Belle: [Uncontrollable laughter]
Me: [Uncontrollable laughter because of her uncontrollable laughter]

If keeping each other laughing is the key to a successful marriage, we'll be OK.

"Luck Be A Lady," Frank Sinatra: From "Sinatra at the Sands," it's one killer standard after another backed by Count Basie and His Orchestra. Whether singing or telling jokes on the album, Sinatra sounds like a man in complete in control of the room. Every time I hear this song, I imagine Sinatra at the craps table, Mia Farrow on his arm and yelling "Eleven!" as the dice turn one last time.

The song also reminds me of a framed picture I had on our wall. I first saw it at my grandfather's, at which point I decided I would get one when I had my own place.

For lack of a better word, it's just a cool picture. What is the source of their laughter? (My theory: Someone farted.) Why are they all reacting in different directions? How much less cool would this be if they were not wearing tuxes? It's a great conversation starter and an interesting moment frozen in time.

Frank, Dean and Sammy have lived with me the last five years or so, the first few when I was a bachelor in a bachelor pad. When Belle and I moved in to our apartment, she graciously -- OK, begrudgingly -- allowed me to hang the photo in our living room.

Earlier this summer, as we started planning to buy a house, Belle told me there would be no place for The Rat Pack in our new home. Frankly, I was just glad she decided to take me to the new house, so I nodded in agreement.

I took the photo down from the wall the other week as we prepare to move and truly start our lives together. Like the men it features, the picture is now a symbol of a bygone era.

But the future still feels like nothing but rolls of 11.